The 90’s…SCROTUMATICALLY fantastic?

I don’t worry about what other people think, (because most people don’t think). If you were actually born during the duration of the 1990’s, this may not be the blog for you. Actually, if you’re not old enough to have watched the Berlin wall fall on a TV news report, and understood what was happening, I caution you to turn around here. If you’re old enough to enjoy yourself a nice scotch on the rocks, and not get carded (i always get carded myself), pull up a bar stool, and I’ll buy you a glass of whine!

My 16 year old cousin commented, in her snooty 16-year old manner “I can’t believe the HIDEOUS UGLY stuff people wore in the 80’s! All the clothes were so GROSS! I can’t believe people actually thought they looked GOOD. OMIGOD! Everyone looked so nasty…” I remember feeling the same way about the 70’s when I was her age, when now…they’ve been back in style for a few years. I told her when the 80’s look becomes popular again (it already has come and gone a few times over the last few seasons. She’s a J. Crew sort of girl. I don’t expect her to know that), she’ll change her tune. I once disdained all things flaired or bootcut, only to have many a pair in my wardrobe.

The music I spent my formative years being obsessed with, other than the Cure or the Smiths, early 90’s alternative fodder? All those in your mid twenties familliar with the face of Music before crap like Madame Britney of Spears? Nirvana. Pearl Jam. The Pixies. Janes Addiction. It’s now a new radio programming genre called “Classic Alternative”. Apply the term classic to any genre of rock, and it sort of takes on a different spin. It was good music. It talked to me, and all my angsty friends who were tired of vapid schlock…MC Hammer, Milli Vanilli, NKTOB, and Debbie Gibson. I never thought it would be the fruit of nostalgia. Yet being as I am a little nostalgic for the 90’s, when my life was a lot simpler, I guess I approve on the condition that “Classic Alternative” does not include the Friend’s theme song. If it does, I may have to hang my head in apathetic shame!

I see myself, fifteen or twenty years down the road, around the 40-something tree (OH MY GOD…that isn’t very long, really!), and seeing my teenage kids (assuming with my smartass genes they live that long) saying to me…

“OH MY GOD…the 90’s were SO ZORRFELBLATT! (a future slang adjective for something undesirable)I can’t believe people wore babydoll dresses with leggings, and flannel! That is just so SCROTUMATIC! (another slang adjective for something bad)

I’ll probably reply to my progeny’s yapping mouth by cranking up “Baby Got Back” or that “I’m too sexy for my shirt…too sexy for this shirt”…song, just to embarrass the little buggers in front of their friends. I am evil. Perhaps I should get a beta fish, and ditch this have kid thing all together?